Please give me feedback on my writing from last week. What sdo you like? Is there anything I can improve?
Hill view school
3 hill lane
Sandwell
West midlands
B62 3HV
O5/01/12
Dear, Miss Turner,
I am writing to you because Matthews’s behavior is decreasing. I am getting worried about this so I will tell you about his behavior.
His behavior is terrible. Matthew, who use to enjoy all his lessons, recently he hasn’t. He rarely answers questions. He is day dreaming nearly every lesson.
Now I am going to tell you about his attendance.
Matthews’s attendance rarely good. Last week he was late all the time plus his attendance is below 10 percent, usually it was 100 percent.
He doesn’t bring his homework early but before he did. His attitude is terrible. I hope you realize how serious this is.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Khan
Ishmail in your letter I really liked when you use a who sentence.
For a wish you need to use more wow words.
Ishmail you have got very fantastic sentances good wow words! and it is a very awsome story.
I Agree With You David!:-)
A great letter Ismail, you put paragraphs in the right position.
well done I smail you have worked really hard on your letter and you have even set out paragrphs! 🙂
Please check your first sentence. Does behaviour ‘decrease’? Is he doing less behaviour? I think you may mean ‘deteriorating’. Am I correct?
Please check your first sentence. Does behaviour ‘decrease’? Is he doing less behaviour? I think you may mean ‘deteriorating’. Am I correct? It is important to check that your vocabulary choice is appropriate.