Please give me feedback on my writing.
Dear Miss Turner,
I am writing to you because I am extremely concerned about Matthews’s behaviour. Let me tell you all about it.
First I would like to tell you about his progress. Usually Matthew is a jolly, enthusiastic boy but now he is lazy sleepy and many more things. Often Matthew is zooming through his work and he was always keen to ask questions, but now he hardly puts any effort into it. Never before have I seen such disgraceful and unacceptable work like Matthew’s!
The next thing I would like to talk about is Matthew’s attendance. Matthews’s attendance has been extremely unacceptable! For the last few weeks Matthew hasn’t been here once except for one day. Miss Turner if you know about this you have to talk to Matthew at once.
Also I have noticed that Matthew isn’t getting on well with children. For example when the children worked together in topic, all Matthew did was sit there in the corner working alone. So please Miss Turner could you come to the school and have a chat with me? If you could that would be fantastic.
Yours Sincerely,
Mrs Smith
I was a goal scorer because I used words to generalise.
Wow Aaliya your story is very good and yes you did use words to generalise very fabydanzo , and hows your eye :P:o 😕 :d 😉
Thank you zoe on my feed back! My eye is lot better now! 🙂
Your letter is fantastic you use lots of wow words I would like to read more.
Aaliya your writing is getting much better well done!
Aaliya for your wish I would like you to put a noun, which/ who sentence it really would go well with your letter.
I agree that it would be better if she had a who or when sentence!
Aaliya you have got spectacular wow words and your hand writing is very good awsome story and well done!
Aaliya your letter is amazing and you have used alot of fantasic wow words
Thank you harveen I rally enjoyed writing my letter 🙂
I also think it is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! She has put an good effort in her writing.
i think it is very good.
I love your letter.
Next time maybe try to use paragraphs.
Wow, i loved reading ur story!
THANKS KAROLINA! 🙂
Well done Aaliya. A fantastic letter!