The Big Mystery! By Paige

I wrote this story at home. Please let me know what you think.

Who Is He? Where does he live? It was 12:00am a perfect time to strike…
BANG! CRASH! The doors where being smashed and windows shattering. The Robinsions family woke up and screamed “Arghhhhhhhhhhh help help” shouted Mr Robinsion they all went down stairs they couldn`t see anything but…

After they took a closer look there was a robber in a balacava lurking in the shadows. All black… All you could see was his eyes. It was a distressing time for the family as they have never been robbed before,  so Mr Robisions rushed from the stairs, opened the door and got his family out safely. Next they needed to call the police but in their hurry, they had left all their phones in the house so they went to the neighboors to call.
“Hello can you hear me, we need a police man to come immediately- my house is being robbed” yelled Mrs Robision down the phone. Then they went to collapse in a chair becuase they were in great shock.

The next morning they still hadn’t caught the robber but he certainly stole everything of value they owned. They were still in shock. They couldn`t belive what happened. It seemed like it was all a dream.

They were going on holiday in 2 weeks and even though the robber hadn’t stolen their clothes, he stole their tickets. The police came and asked them loads of questions

“What time did this burgulary occur?” asked the police man

“Well I think it was about 12:00 am I not to sure I think it was” replied Mr Robision

After a hundred moe questions. “Ok thats all for now do you have insurance on your house?” asked the poilce man as he was writing things down.
“Yes certainly why are you asking for?” said Mrs Robision as she was trying to keep the tears from flowing after the recent events that have happened
“If you have insurnce they repair the windows door and give you £4,000 also they will get more tickets to where ever you want to go and they`ll pay” told the poilce women.
They finally left leaving the family in the broken home….

5 thoughts on “The Big Mystery! By Paige

  1. I love this story I was really hooked. What you have improved is a great description. For a tip top use some ly words to make it much more improved. What A wonderful story. WELL DONE PAIGE!

  2. I think its ….. 😕 FAB 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 8)

  3. Wow! What a fantastic story Paige. You have made me want to know what happens next! I like your use of questions at the start to hook the reader. Well done

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