“You’re absolutely hopeless, you can’t even sing!” My savage, cruel sons screeched over my voice as I tried to entertain them with my dancing. Unloved, uncared, taken for granted I secretly trudged out of my own home to be away from my boisterous, brutal family. Can you believe my own family don’t love me? Despite me knowing it was something I’d never usually think of doing… I abandoned my family and headed out for outback…
Halfway down a prickly path, I threw a discarded, chipped pebble to show my anger and frustration. I dragged my weak body towards a tall tree as a radiant, picturesque magpie caught the pebble I threw. At that moment a phenomenal idea suddenly began to blossom in my mind…
Deciding that I had nothing more to lose, I followed the precarious, exquisite creature which led me through a deserted, drab forest to a cascading waterfall which trickled into a pond. In the spot I was standing the sky, which was as clear as crystal, seemed much more beautiful than I had ever saw it. Surrounding me I saw such kaleidoscopic plants which were the most radiant things I’d ever see. As I began strolling towards the harmonious pond my feet felt as if they were in a bucket of moisturiser! Dejectedly, despondently I peacefully swam to the centre of the serene pond feeling overwhelmed as if all my problems suddenly faded away, until I felt myself uncontrollably being dragged into the pond by some sort of creature under the water…
Who was it? What were they doing there? Why did they pull me in?
Pushing the water behind me I trembled as I noticed precarious, exotic mermaids were surrounding me!
Throughout that tranquil evening I felt as if the mermaids were my own family, they cared for me and adored my company. Usually I am very content but I was the most elated I’d ever been in my entire life.
Even though I thought my intense, tempestuous family was my past, that evening I had an image reminding of the cruel lot. Although I had an idea it’d be of them teasing me, it seemed to be of my two sisters first weeping and then my young son sobbing away heartbrokenly. Stuck in a dilemma, I bit my lip struggling for a decision but as a vivid, radiant creature swam by I made up my mind. I ordered the exotic creature to take me to shore.
Peacefully waving I cried my byes to the striking mermaids and even though I knew I’d miss them, I began my journey returning home…
Proud, relived, delighted I scrutinized my family as I arrived and over the moon they hugged me back. Never again will I leave my family no matter how exasperated they get me because everyone has their arguments.
I like your opening Mya
Mya I think your story was fablous I like your wow words you used like savage, negligent and dejectedly, despondently. You have used brilliant wow words and ly words. Your ing + ly was great:
Peacefully waving I cried my byes to the striking mermaids and even though I knew I’d miss them, I began my journey returning home…
The questions create a lot of suspence Mya. Here they are: Who was it? What were they doing there? Why did they pull me in?
Well done Mya you have tried really hard and it is so good.
Star- Mya your Wow words are brill
Wish- you used precarious twice try and use another word
Thanks Zara and Noorilain, I hoped you enjoyed reading it.
your story’s starting was absoloutely great!
I liked how you used boistrous for fierce and trudged instead of just walked away.
Also I liked your connectives usually & despite. Another wow word I liked was frustration and discarded.
Hey Mya wow that was so good really good use of words love u mwah x x x x