Rayan and the great GPA phone.
Have you ever wanted something and you didn’t get it so you had to do something terrible to get it. Well if you listen carefully and silently I will tell you all about what I did.
Mom get me a GPA phone, yelled Rayan as his mom put the rabbit away in the shiny cage. It was a gift for his birthday, but he wasn’t very happy because he wanted the enthralling new GPA.His mom said no! Do you think I’m made of money? Said mum, then she turned the tv on. Rayan knew that he was defeated, his body started boiling his face turned red as a tomato so he muttered well if she wouldn’t get me one I will have to do something my self. The next morning he went to school and the problems even though I tried not to look I was really angry if only I had the GPA phone I will be a member of the gang since I was really angry I went to the toilet I angrily powerfully slammed the door then I’ve seen jimmy’s GPA phone I said, this is my chance but if I stole it I’m going to get caught and I’m going to be in big trouble but if I hided it no body will know that I’ve stolen it…IT’s home time every body rushed out side ,I to the class and hide the phone that was not mine and that was one of the things that I don’t often do. When n I went home the problems have started my mum have brought me a GPA phone and she asked me are you not hungry? No I’m not hungry then I went to my room and thrown the GPA phone that my mum brought me then my mum came and said to me from where did you get that phone from?Shouted mum It’s the phone that you’ve brought for me I replied No! you’ve stolen it it’s jimmy’s phone I know that because I’ve seen it lot’s of times…The next day I went to jimmy’s house and I gave him his phone back and I said sorry because I had to and we where friend’s again.
Well done Rayan! This is a great piece. You have thought about the story really well so that it makes sense and is a good read. You have also helped tell a tale with a moral in it. Brill!
One thing that would make it even better would be to split it up into paragraphs.
I agree Mrs Skinner Rayans work is brilliant.
Well thank you very much.
your story was great rayan 🙂