My description of the Future! By Alaiah

Firstly I gently opened my brown eyes and saw that I was in the mega, mighty metalic future.  I couldn’t stop staring at the amazing, shiny transporter that was flying in the sky.  Suddenly my eye caught the fabulous fantastic building that was sparkling so bright and it had lots of dazzling lights hanging down. Next I started to wonder around then I saw the water that was as sparkling as a shiny castle.

Please give me feedback on my writing.  Thank you.

 

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