Dear Robin Van Persie,

Hi Robin what’s up? I’m feeling very upset, because I’m getting bullied. Can you give me some advice please? I haven’t told anyone but you, tell me how to stand up to them. They call me turnip and tallest, I hate it. There are about five or six kids. They irritate me so much I wagged school. I feel like a dirty strawberry being left out and not ate. I feel like dust getting pulled away from everyone. I’m wrecked inside. I’m trapped. I feel like a piece of paper ripped up and glued in a bin. I might be running away so can I have your address.

Bye from whatever’s left of me, Mathew Turner.