Hercules was a tall man with powerful shoulders, a fierce, dark face and a knife-like mouth. He had muscular arms with blisters and bruises as dark as the shadows of twilight. There was something quite perculiar about Hercules. Perhaps it was that his face was shaped liked the moon. Perhaps it was that he had a savage laughter which echoed in the distance beyond the stars. The face of Hercules was unnerving neither ageless nor sorrowful. He was twice as strong and powerful unlike a normal man. His eyes were fremon blue and his hair was light brown which lurked and brushed backwards from his temples. Everybody thought that he had astonishing beauty right from when he was a baby. His features were chriselled like a statue. His cheek bones were higher than normal which made him greater than everyone in Greece. He was one of a kind. His long, brown hair wrapped around him like a snake when it had found its prey.
beautiful description and you also described hercules personality. Well done bismah
Bismah,
I am very impressed with your use of language and turns of phrases that clearly show that you know how to manipulate the English Language. There are some really lovely touches here that make it a very mature piece of writing.
Well done
ms Tonks from Shireland Collegiate Academy
That was a OUTSTANDING piece of writing!
There was lots of description of how Hercules looked- I could actually picure how he looked in my head!
In my school, when we did about Greek myths we called him Heracles not Hercules. Have you heard of this?
Yes i have heard this.
Thank you ms Tonks for your feedback. 😉
Bismah, congratulations on your wonderful writing. I will use it with my class after our winter holidays in Australia. I feel it will inspire their narrative writing.
Mrs Yore
http://www.themiddlematters.blogspot.com
Thank you for commenting Miss Tonks i remember you from when i came to shireland for ‘Radio in a day’!
GREAT blog post Bismah
Well Done Bismah 8)
WOW Bismah, you have used lots of similes wich is great! 😉
Hi Bismah,
How did you find the day at Shireland?
By the way Firefly is my daughter who is also in Year 5 (at a different Primary school) and thought your writing was so good, she wanted to leave her own comment.
Ms Tonks
I absolutely loved the day at Shireland! It was fantastic!
Hello,
Really pleased to hear this.
We are hoping to do more homework sessions next term and maybe a follow up radio session if pupils were interested. Do you think they would be? If you think so, I could look into making it happen again.
Ms Tonks
Bismah
As many of our staff are talking about your work I thought that I would take a look. It is excellent, very well done
Sir Mark Grundy
Bismah,
I’m really impressed with your fantastic description of Hercules. I think your use of interesting adjectives and the simile of, ‘He had muscular arms with blisters and bruises as dark as the shadows of twilight’ is really effective.
Well done!
Mrs Parwana
Head of English at Shireland Collegiate Academy
Thank you everyone for commenting on my blog post.