Goal Scorer Writer’s Workshop by Dylan!

First I cautiously and slowly entered the haunted house.  Suddenly the door  slammed shut and slime was in my hair, as hard as a rock!  I saw a ghost flying around me.  I could not believe it, I almost fell on the floor.  The walls smelt! Suddenly I saw Jack’s bag;  I thought there was going to be a clue but quickly it vanished into thin air.  Suddenly I put my hand in some goo; it was squishy and slimy.  Next I decided to go upstairs even though they were moving.  Suddenly I saw Jack’s hat and I heard the door open.  I thought “Will I get out in time for my scrumptious tea?”

Please give me some feedback on my writing.  Thank you very much.

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